Common Surrogacy Timeline Setbacks and How to Overcome Them

For a lot of intended parents, surrogacy comes after a long road already. One of the hardest parts is how much sits outside your control. Your timeline depends on other people’s schedules and on medical steps that don’t always go according to plan. Every path to parenthood has obstacles, and knowing the common ones ahead of time makes them easier to plan around.

Let’s talk about a few common setbacks you might encounter when it comes to your surrogacy timeline, so you have a better idea of the issues that you might run into during the process.

Legal and Paperwork Taking Longer Than Expected

While nobody really enjoys paperwork, it is necessary and there are a lot of small details like costs and preferences that need to be documented and agreed upon before the medical portion of surrogacy begins. The legal side of surrogacy is a multi-step process where documents need to be drafted, negotiated, revised, and then finalized. 

During this period of  time, it’s possible that either the Intended Parents or the surrogate may need to pause this process to resolve any conflicting details before signing onto the agreement. If there is a unique circumstance, like requirements specific to your state, or even international laws that need to be considered, this process could take even longer. Expect the legal process to take at least a few weeks at minimum.

Finding Your Surrogate

Finding a surrogate is one of the hardest parts of the timeline to predict. How long it takes depends on the path you’re on.

If you’re working with an agency, the wait depends on how many surrogates the agency has ready and how many intended parents are ahead of you. Wait times vary widely from one agency to the next, so the agency you choose matters. Many agencies will tell you their current wait time. Ask for it before you sign, and ask what it has looked like over the past year.

If you’re finding a surrogate on your own, through your social media and your own community, the timeline depends on how far your search reaches and who raises their hand. Some find someone quickly through a friend or a friend of a friend. Others search for months, sometimes longer.

On either path, every preference you hold narrows the pool. Keep the ones that matter most to you. If finding a match is taking longer than you hoped, look at whether any others have room to bend. A few things are worth holding firm on no matter how long it takes: being on the same page about termination, the kind of relationship you want with her, and where she stands on vaccines. Your attorney can make sure what you agree on is reflected in your contract. Whether she has surrogate-friendly health insurance affects cost, and where she lives can affect which state’s laws apply. Talk those through with your attorney and an insurance specialist before you decide what you’re flexible on.

This is a big part of what we do. In an independent journey, we help you build your intended parent profile and plan your search. Once you’ve found someone, we screen her for you: an intake form, a first call, the match call, a background check, and her medical records. The decision is always yours, and you make it with the full picture.

If you’re working with an agency, or still choosing one, our surrogacy concierge support stays with you through matching and every step after it. We can also look across our network of partner agencies for a surrogate who is already signed with and vetted by one of them, and set up the match call.

After a Negative Pregnancy Test

Not every embryo transfer leads to a pregnancy. A negative test means planning another transfer with your fertility clinic, if everyone agrees to try again. It adds time to your timeline, and it’s hard news to take in, for you and for your surrogate.

Delayed Medical Appointments

Once you’re matched, your surrogate goes through a full medical screening at your fertility clinic. Sometimes it turns up something the clinic wants to look at more closely before they clear her.

That can mean extra tests or a visit with a specialist. Specialist availability alone can push your timeline back, sometimes by more than a month. If she isn’t cleared, you’ll need to find a new match, and that takes more time too.

Unexpected Life Events

Since surrogacy pregnancy happens over an extended time, you never know what might come up during the process. Circumstances can change at any time, family emergencies happen, or schedules may not line up. Any one of these things can delay the surrogacy process.

Unfortunately, these are the types of events that show up without warning, so there’s not much you can do to prepare for them. However, you can control how you take care of yourself. Self-care matters for both the surrogate and the Intended Parents during this time. It’s also just good to be aware that at some point, your process may be delayed, and not be too hard on yourself about it.

Your Surrogacy Timeline

While there is no exact answer to the common question of, ‘How long does surrogacy take?’, there are a large number of variables that will decide the exact length of your surrogacy process timeline. No matter how long your surrogacy journey lasts, remaining patient throughout each step of the process is important. 

Waiting is hard, especially when you feel like you can’t always see the finish line. Give each step the time it needs, and try to enjoy the parts you can.

At Surrogacy Reimagined, we understand firsthand how hard these setbacks can be. That's why we've created a free Intended Parent Community. It is a community where Intended Parents can learn about surrogacy and connect with other Intended Parents who truly get it. We are always accepting new members and would love for you to join. Join today and feel fully supported as you go through the ups and downs of surrogacy.